This week I’m excited to introduce Vanessa from Mother Hermit as part of my guest series – The Partner’s View. Vanessa’s partner talks about the differences in their birth experience between their two children, this makes for a great read as it is fascinating to see how it differs second time round, as they are more prepared. Also, well done on getting to use the birth centre too.
What were your thoughts and feelings leading up to the birth of your child?
Fear and excitement, I was worried that I couldn’t support my new baby. I was terrified that I just wouldn’t know how to be a parent and how to deal with all the different scenarios being a dad would throw at me, both financial and emotional. With the birth of our second child I wasn’t worried at all because I thought I’d been through it all before. Little did I know doing all the stuff we had already got good at, with a 2 year old would be twice as hard!
As a birth partner, how did you prepare for the birth?
With Violet I did copious amounts of research and book reading. Oh and rocking back and forth and sweating!
Tell us a little about your partners birth?
The first birth was really tough on Vanessa, I think the fear of giving birth first time contributed to this, but the birth itself was an extremely long labour, gas and air and an epidural was involved (it didn’t work), then Violet got stuck and started to panic so the forceps were used too. With Billy, it was very quick and we only just made it to the hospital in time, it sounded just as painful though! I spent the entire time next to the pool holding Vanessa’s hand and looking at the floor.
What were you most afraid of during your partner’s birth?
With Violet, the health of both baby and mother when it became apparent that it wasn’t going to be routine.
What was the best and most positive part of your partners birth?
With Violet, it was just the fact that both were OK, with Billy it was that we had him in the birthing centre and pool, which is what Vanessa wanted all along.
How did you support your partner and baby after the birth?
Just by doing what I could while I was on paternity leave, little things around the house and picking things up for mother and baby. With Violet I was quite good with the night feeds etc. but I’ve been a bit useless with Billy because we have another baby and with my work commitments
What advice would you give to a birthing partner?
Be prepared. Be prepared for it to be a long day, and a long few weeks afterwards. I was very lucky in that Vanessa made sure I knew what I was doing. Oh, and remember to take into account any road closures/road works on your route to the hospital. Billy was nearly born in the front seat because I didn’t do this!
A little bit about Vanessa
“Hi! I’m Vanessa, 27, been with my best friend Gareth now for six years and together we have two beautiful children, a little girl (V) who’s 2 and a brand new baby boy- Feb 2016- (B)!
I’m a full time Mother to V & B as I decided not to return to my job as a Complaint’s Advisor in finance, whilst on maternity leave with my daughter in 2014 and have never looked back! I spend everyday with my kids and our dog Lola and now feel like I finally have the best job in the world!
I’m very new to the blogging world and have only been doing it since March this year (2016). I call myself Mother Hermit as I find it difficult to make new friends and often find myself feeling a bit lonely but since I’ve joined the blogging community, I’ve found some lovely people to talk to online!”