When will she walk…..

Walk

The title of this post says it all. A mum worrying that there is something wrong with her daughter because she is not walking yet, as her nursery have taken her to one side yet again to have a word about her daughter’s walking progress.

Yep, that’s me.

I am worrying for nothing, I’m sure of it, but I have a little bit of fear in the back in the mind that she is a late developer. I don’t want to be taken to one side by the nursery staff when I pick my daughter up because she is not walking yet. This is the second time in a week that I’ve had this conversation with the nursery, and it leaves me feeling guilty that I’m not doing enough to encourage her to walk or that there is something actually wrong.

Following the first conversation about her walking, I took to Twitter to ask when other blogger’s children started walking. I was overwhelmed with the replies to my Tweet:

When will she walk

 

What was clear from the replies is that there is a huge age difference when your child does start walking. It seems like most start walking at about 14 – 15 months, with a few early walkers and a few late walkers. I have heard that it runs in the family, and my husband apparently didn’t move until he was 16 months old, so maybe that’s why.

So was the nursery right to make me aware of this. I’m glad that they had a conversation with me about it, however making me feel that there is something wrong with my daughter’s legs has made me feel uneasy. To counteract this and so they can add it to her Early Years log chart I’ve had to demonstrate that she can walk being held under the armpits and can stand holding onto something.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to worry too much, and instead try my hardest to encourage her to walk and take the weight on the legs. I’ll do this by walking her around the house, and encouraging her to coast around the furniture. I’m hoping that the really cute shoes we bought last week from Clarks will help to make a difference too.

Clarks first walking shoes

With all the assessments and childcare systems in place, are we putting too much pressure on ourselves and children to conform to tick boxes and child care expectations. Just seeing the responses to my tweet goes to show that children and babies develop at different times. It certainly does not seem unusual among us parents that a child is not walking at 13 months old. Yet the nursery is making me feel like she should, and is not taking into account that all children develop differently and a different times. In a few months she will be walking, and I’ll look back at this and wonder what I was worried about it. However this approach to expecting our child to conform to developmental milestones by a certain age, makes me feel terribly bad as a parent that my daughter has not reached this milestone yet.

We’ve just spent the weekend my sister-in-law who is a health visitor, and at no point was she concerned about my daughter’s development. If anything she’s really happy, and would like to see my daughter free of her constant cold and cough.

So for now I’m not going to worry that she’s not walking yet, I’ll enjoy this time until I’m having to chase her around.

Has anyone else experienced child care professionals worrying you that your child is not meeting development milestones. How have you dealt with it? I would love to hear from you.

Claire x

The Pramshed

53 Comments

  1. A Mum Track Mind September 21, 2016 / 11:16 pm

    I always say that babies haven’t read the rule books we have forced at us. As long as you’re satisfied with her hips/legs/feet etc then there’s no reason to be concerned and in my opinion the nursery are being a bit premature bringing it up.
    Zak walked at 14 months old which I believe is average. My niece walked at 18 months old but now just try and stop the kid! She’s the most active threenager I’ve ever met! Don’t worry about it. Seriously cute shoes though!! X
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    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:10 pm

      That is a good way of looking at it, and they are not programmed to do something by a certain time or age. I do feel that it is a but premature that it was bought up when she is only 13 months. I’m not going to worry, she will walk when she’s ready, and then I’ll have another series of battles to face x

  2. Bridie By The Sea September 21, 2016 / 11:46 pm

    This is a fab post Clare, I have similar worries with my little girl’s speech as at 17 months she only says 3 or so words, whereas most babies her age are babbling away saying clear words and trying to express themselves. The nursery haven’t mentioned anything to me but my husband wondered recently if we should see a speech therapist soon..I’m sure your little one will get there soon 🙂 I didn’t walk til I was 17 months…I didn’t even crawl, I just sat there lol. Eventually I made up for lost time! Xx
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    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:09 pm

      Thanks Bridie, that must be a difficult decision as 17 months is still quite early. I’m sure that if nursery were concerned they would have said something. Have you seen a health visitor? All babies develop at different times, which I keep having to remind myself. Don’t worry too much x

  3. Mrs Lighty September 22, 2016 / 7:11 am

    I can’t believe they pulled you aside TWICE in the same week!! Were you supposed to have got her walking in that time?! Baby Lighty took his first few steps after his first birthday, but whereas everyone says that once they do that they’re off, this wasn’t the case with him and it was a really slow process. Took him about a month after that to walk properly, so just goes to show they’re all different! If anything, the shoes may be s hindrance; try to keep her barefooted where possible. Even now with nearly 3 months walking under his belt, Baby Lighty is much more stable barefoot than in shoes. Good luck with it all and just think, if you were a SAHM, the nursery or anyone else in that position of ‘autority’ would be none the wiser that she wasn’t walking and therefore not worried!! xxx
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    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:07 pm

      I know it was a bit ridiculous that I had both conversations in such a short space of time. I’m sure that she will develop in her own time, she is already showing signs of walking and I know that she will be shortly. Thanks so much for reading and commenting x

  4. Squirmy Popple September 22, 2016 / 7:13 am

    The Popple was an early walker, but like Bridie, I have similar worries about my daughter’s speech. At 15 months she hardly has any words, and while I know bilingual children sometimes talk later, I’m still concerned about it. No professional has said anything yet, but I try to remind myself that each child develops at their own rate, and in most cases, they will catch up in their own time.
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    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:05 pm

      I’m sure that the Popple will be absolutely fine, I know plenty of other babies that have hardly any words by 15 months. I’m sure that mine will be the same. At the end of the day when they are older and talking perfectly you will look back and wonder why we were so worried. Thanks so much for reading and commenting x

  5. Angela Watling September 22, 2016 / 10:58 am

    She’s absolutely not behind from what I’ve seen and experienced. It’s right the nursery raise it as you say, but you shouldn’t be worried. If she can bear weight on her legs then she’s just taking her time with the rest. If she’s focusing on development on other areas, walking might not be a priority for her yet. But she’ll get there. You’re encouraging her which is the main thing. Your sister’s experience is a definite reassurance.

    My daughter was walking with aid from about a year but wouldn’t let go and walk across open space along until almost 15 months. It was confidence and one day she just found it and was off. I thought it would be gradual but it was like someone had flipped an ‘ON’ switch. Your LO could well do the same.

    All the best in helping her get there. But whilst all the charts and planners mean we can catch issues early, they often make us unduly paranoid!
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    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:04 pm

      Thanks Angela that’s really reassuring to hear. I’m sure the nursery are doing it out of their duty of care, but it does make me feel paranoid. I’m sure that everything will be fine. Thanks so much for reading and commenting x

  6. kelly edwards September 22, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    Each child is so different, I personally think it was unfair of your nursery to draw attention to it – sure if it was over average, then it would be worth pointing out, but if she’s on track and fine, then I think they’re causing unnecessary worry. We have enough to worry about as parents. I love the shoes too… I’m sure my daughter would be jealous of those! 🙂 xx #tribalchat

    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:02 pm

      Thank you Kelly, yes you’re right every child is different, and develop at their own pace. If we are still having the problem in a few months time, then I will need to do something about it. But right now I’m not going to worry x

  7. justsayingmum September 22, 2016 / 12:45 pm

    Oh how ridiculous?! My son didn’t start walking until he was 17 months! And he is one of the fittest, healthiest sporty kids out there! We had lots of issues raised by nursery with my daughter’s behaviour – Georgia – well you can see how she’s turned out – nothing to worry about at all! You just enjoy and carry on the way you are lovely – I’m sure everything is absolutely fine xx
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    • The Pramshed September 22, 2016 / 10:01 pm

      Ah thanks Helen for reading and for your comment. I’m not going to worry, nothing was said today, and I was greeted by a standing up baby today x

  8. Let your light shine Mummy September 23, 2016 / 7:47 pm

    BB walked at 15 months and LP at 14 months, but it took him a month or so to get good at it. My friends boy walked at 18 months. They all have their own timings and your little one will get there, then there will be no stopping her. Very cute shoes! Xx
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    • The Pramshed September 23, 2016 / 9:02 pm

      Ah that’s good to hear, and they definitely have their own timings. She will walk when she’s ready, as she’s already showing signs. Thanks for reading and commenting x

  9. mumworkrepeat September 24, 2016 / 8:05 am

    My son was about 14 months when he started walking and I was starting to get concerned that he never would! A friend of mine put my mind at ease when she said he daughter was nearly 2! The milestones can put so much worry in your mind can’t they. I’m sue she’ll be on the move in not time and when she is ready #fortheloveofBLOG
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  10. Something About Baby September 24, 2016 / 8:28 am

    I think I’d be a bit upset of Alfie’s nursery did the same to me. Alfie took his first steps just after his first birthday and has just this week started walking ‘properly’ at 14 months. I wasn’t worried in the slightest as everyone develops differently. My niece was walking at 9 months! Don’t worry, she’ll get there #fortheloveofBLOG
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  11. Ellen September 24, 2016 / 8:51 am

    I’m actually quite surprised that they felt it necessary to take you aside as I don’t think that’s late at all!! A few of my nieces and nephews weren’t walking until around 15 months and one of them didn’t walk unaided until she was about 19 months, but at almost 4 she runs all over the place now! They all do things at different paces and I wouldn’t worry at all. #fortheloveofBLOG
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  12. thetaleofmummyhood September 24, 2016 / 9:20 am

    My daughter was a late walker too. One day she stood up and was off – literally! Enjoy not having to constantly chase her around for now, it wont last long!

    #fortheloveofBLOG
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  13. OddHogg September 24, 2016 / 9:37 am

    We had loads of issues with the health visitor being obsessed with Piglets weight, when in reality he is just going to be a skinny chap and is developing fine!
    If nursery were concerned they could have approached it better. Maybe just suggest to you that you encourage her around the house more rather than saying it was anything to worry about it. I wouldnt be concerned at 13 months though! #fortheloveofBLOG
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  14. Suz September 24, 2016 / 11:41 am

    I’m afraid that ‘health professionals’ seem to take it upon themselves to make us feel bad about everything. It starts in pregnancy – the baby is too big, or too small – and continues throughout our lifetimes as you have found out.
    I think parent’s ‘know’ if something is amiss with their child. Don’t pay any attention to the ‘experts’ and just enjoy your little daughter 🙂
    #fortheloveofBLOG
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  15. Claire September 24, 2016 / 11:53 am

    There’s plenty of time in life to feel pressure and I think babies should be except. All babies will develop on their own and perhaps the nursery could’ve been a little more tactful! 13 months is very young to be getting concerned from what I’ve heard! #fortheloveofblog

  16. kristin mccarthy September 24, 2016 / 12:10 pm

    Motherhood is a sea of worries isn’t it. If it isn’t walking, it’s talking, or sharing, or sleeping or gaining weight. There isn’t enough time to list all of the worries I have had with my kids at some point. No joke.

    #fortheloveofblog
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  17. five little doves September 24, 2016 / 12:21 pm

    I think as parents we always worry! My eldest walked at 9 months which was exceptionally early. My girls both walked at 11 months and my youngest didn’t walk properly until he was about 15 months which I was hugely worried about with the others walking well before. I think we do compare, either with their siblings or friends children, when actually it’s true what they say and every child is different!! #fortheloveofblog
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  18. Kate Orson September 24, 2016 / 1:17 pm

    I’m really shocked that the nursery think that 13 months is late. My daughter didn’t walk till she was 20 months. At the time I was worried, but I remember reading somewhere that up to 24 months was normal, and I saw that her development was fine, and in some areas she was advanced, like fine motor skills. The staff sound quite ignorant to suggest 13 months is late. #fortheloveofBLOG
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  19. Mother of Teenagers September 24, 2016 / 3:54 pm

    I have never heard of a nursery doing this, it seems unreasonable to make you anxious like this. Your daughter will walk when she is ready. My eldest walked at 15 months and my youngest at 13 months. It is not something you can force them to do, just like sleeping through the night, eating solids and talking, each and every child is different. #fortheloveof BLOG
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  20. Kelly September 24, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    Aaaww we have so much worry of our own, added pressure from elsewhere doesn’t help. I’m sure she’ll soon be running around causing mischief! #fortheloveofBLOG

  21. wendy September 24, 2016 / 4:54 pm

    Ohh you really don’t need to worry, all babies are so different and reach milestones at different times. Leo probably took his first steps at about 12 months but it wasn’t until 14 months he actually started walking. I wouldn’t worry, 13 months is still really young, she’ll do it when she’s good and ready 🙂 xx #fortheloveofBLOG
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  22. Claire September 24, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    The nursery sound a little ott to me! my eldest was walking by himself by 12 months but one of his friends didn’t take his first step unassisted until 15 months. Another wouldn’t climb anything at all until he was over two, another was scaling the big nets at the playground before he was 18 months! Kids are crazy different! They do everything at their own pace xx #fortheloveofblog
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  23. The Mum Reviews September 24, 2016 / 7:46 pm

    I really disagree with the way the early years has all these milestones and they expect children to tick all the boxes for their age group instead of excelling at some and maybe being a bit behind the crowd at others. My eldest son didn’t take his first unaided steps until he was 15 months, and it was even longer before he was reliably walking. He’s 4 now and walking, running, climbing just fine. I’m sure your daughter will get there at her own pace. #fortheloveofBLOG
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  24. Tooting Mama September 24, 2016 / 8:37 pm

    I always think kids do what they need to do when they are good and ready! We, well, we just need to chill a bit. Just be ready for when she’s Speedy Gonzales! #fortheloveofBLOG
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  25. Briony September 24, 2016 / 9:59 pm

    I don’t get too many healthcare types worrying me about L as I tend to not see any. For that very reason. He started walking the day after his first birthday. He never crawled. Just bum shuffled, coasted a bit, then one day bam! Nothing was safe. A few days later he was climbing and I was wanting morning wine. Make the most of it but carry on buying super cute shoes. Love them!! #fortheloveofBLOG

  26. The Hippy Christian Mum September 24, 2016 / 10:32 pm

    Thats definitely too early for the nursery to be raising it as a concern to you. As you said she will probably be walking soon and you will look back and wish they hadn’t worried you. #fortheloveofBLOG

  27. Helena September 24, 2016 / 10:48 pm

    Ah these health professionals are set to challenge us at times it feels. I’m sure she will walk when she wants to and right on time for her. #fortheloveofBLOG
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  28. Mimi Rose & Me September 24, 2016 / 11:36 pm

    I was the last child out of my brother and sister to have a child so I would always compare our children. But the best thing to do is not to compare your child to others after all every child is different. One child the same age as my daughter walked a nine months another walked at 20 months. So it all depends on your little one. She will walk when she’s ready, so do not worry! I love her new shoes! So adorable. #ForTheLoveOfBlog
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  29. Kat September 25, 2016 / 7:34 am

    She will do it in her own time, don’t you worry about it. All you can do is provide her with chances to try and she is clearly getting there if she is coasting. She just needs a little confidence for those first few steps. My daughter took her first few steps just before she turned one, but it took her a very long time to do it again or for more than about three or five steps at a time. We got her a push car which really helped. Sending hugs though, it’s not nice when nursery bring it up awkwardly like that for you. #fortheloveofblog

  30. Susie Hawes September 25, 2016 / 2:51 pm

    I think that’s actually really irresponsible of the nursery! It’s made me quite cross reading that. I’d have been so mad! My little girl has only just taken her first steps at 20 months and after 3 weeks is still only going a couple of meters on her own. All kids develop differently but 13 months is nothing to be worrying about. My friends nursery suggested a call to the HV at 18 months when her son wasn’t walking. Took him to GP and he pretty much laughed in her face and sent them off saying it was fine. We had to see the hospital because my daughter didn’t even weight bear til 15 months. This was set up by our HV after the 1 year check. I was happy they wanted to check there was nothing wrong but the lovely consultant said she was on the bendy side of normal. I am surprised a nursery would worry you at that age. In terms of encouraging her, I would just let her gain her confidence and encourage her. I love say you have nothing to worry about xx
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  31. Andrea @ Topsy Turvy Tribe September 25, 2016 / 7:37 pm

    Our boys walked at 12 and 14 months. I am really surprised with uour nursery. Surely people who work with babies should know a little more about babies development! The NHS development time line for milestones give the age of 10-18 months to walk alone. I would thank the nursery for their concern then refer them to the NHS website and suggest they do some research before worrying patents! #fortheloveofBLOG
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  32. Emma Plus Three September 25, 2016 / 9:16 pm

    Both of mine walked around the 13 month mark. But 14 and 15 months months is also perfectly normal 🙂 They are all different, try not to worry x #fortheloveofBLOG
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  33. Jane Taylor Maflingo September 26, 2016 / 9:39 am

    As long as all of the hip checks and health checks are all fine, I wouldn’t worry. My eldest didn’t start walking til about 15-16months but I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule…I know some folks whose kids can get around so fast by bum shuffling and lightning speed crawling that walking seems like a bit of a retrograde step for them!!

    Try not to worry…Once they are walking there are a whole set of other things to think about lol!
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  34. Sonia September 26, 2016 / 2:06 pm

    You are right not to worry. I teach ‘gym tots’ and we don’t take them until 18 months because the majority are walking by then, but we still get one or two who aren’t quite there even then! My first was early – 11 months, the second walked on her knees and didn’t get up to her feet until she could literally run- she was 14 months. The boy was around 15 months and having 3 women at his service, didn’t see the point of moving any sooner! Xx #fortheloveofBLOG
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  35. themotherhub.ie September 26, 2016 / 2:24 pm

    I am surprised that the nursery commented at only 13 months . I think both of mine were around 14 months. I would be very surprised if your daughter was the only one in the nursery at that age not walking! I hope all the comments have put your mind at ease #fortheloveofblog

  36. Jaki September 26, 2016 / 9:05 pm

    I am so shocked that you have been pulled aside to discuss this. My Ethan was 16 months when he started walking and I wasn’t concerned at all. I was the same as a baby and so was my Sister, so you could be right when you say it runs in the family. I find aswell that they either talk early or walk early. Needless to say, I have had a little chatterbox on my hands for the last couple of years. It’s such a shame that we are made to panic about their development, it’s the same with potty training. They do these things when they are ready. But I really don’t feel that 13 months is anything to worry about at all. I hope all of these comments have put your mind at rest. #fortheloveofBLOG
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  37. Sarah September 27, 2016 / 1:15 pm

    How silly! Rian had barely mastered crawling at 13 months. Talking yes, moving not so much. I think he walked around 15 months, and I was fine with that. He developed rapidly after that – he was jumping right off the ground two months later and a lot of children can’t do that til they are three! Nursery are being a bit gung-ho there! xx #tribe

  38. Rosie September 27, 2016 / 2:56 pm

    Milestone charts are the biggest waste of time, I think they should be banned! They only serve to cause worry in the majority of parents whose children will just develop at their own rate and when they are ready to. Seriously, don’t worry about her, and certainly don’t worry about the nursery staff’s opinions. I actually can’t believe they felt it necessary to pull to aside to discuss it! Her shoes are absolutely precious, and I’m sure in the coming months you’ll forget all about this (mainly because you’ll be too busy chasing her around) xx #fortheloveofblog

  39. Becci - The Unnatural Mother September 30, 2016 / 7:31 am

    Im gobsmacked they pulled you to one side ! My little boy didnt walk until 15 months and Charley is coming upto 13 months and is happy crawling.Im in no rush for her to get up and walk about.Thats when the trouble really begins. My nursery once told me that my chatterbox of a son may need speech therapy . When i asked for more details it turned they felt concerened because Harry said Elbow instead of Elmo (as in the toy ) .I think the expression on my face at the time made sure they never said anything silly like that to me again #fortheloveofBLOG

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