9 weeks in lockdown….argh!!!!!

Week 9 of lockdown

Here we are at the start of week 9 in lockdown, yes err, that’s how long it has been. Although I must say that our lockdown has been lighter than other countries, which might be a good thing, but who knows, I guess that we will start to see the impact of loosening the measures over the next couple of weeks. Fingers crossed the figures remain on the downward trend.

Covid-19 is awful and I am so sorry for everyone who has been affected by this terrible and awful virus. I remember before we went into lockdown seeing Wuhan in lockdown for 50 days, and that just seemed so unimaginable, crazy and scary. It just felt like such a long time. However here we are on day 58, and the thought of reaching this number before we went into lockdown quite frankly scared the shit out of me, and probably everyone else as well.

Why?

Well, life has changed A LOT. For me that’s an extended time at home with everyone, no silence, a messy house, when would I work, would I ever work again, when would I see family and friends again, would I go on holiday this year, where have all the planes gone (I do actually miss them flying overhead into Heathrow), how trashed and battered my house would get, when will my children ever return to school and nursery, the list goes on and on……

Week 9 of lockdown

I realise that we are lucky, and I know that everyone has their own lockdown and their own thoughts on lockdown, and that not all lockdowns are the same. I’ve seen the phrase we’re all in the same boat, but a different boat being banded about on social media. But as time has passed my feelings towards lockdown and coronavirus has changed. I guess I’ve become less worried about it and keen to get on with life, obviously keeping social distancing in place.

Up until now I’ve not written anything about this time on my blog, but feel like I need to capture it somewhere, it’s a bit of a diary and a place to capture our lives during this crazy time.

So here’s goes….

For me the scariness and worry really only sunk in when they announced that they would be closing the schools and nurseries on Friday 20th March 2020. This message was announced 2 days before, so there was virtually no time to plan. We knew it was coming, but it still felt like a shock. This would and has had the biggest impact our on life as we know it, and probably the lives of every other parent for now. The challenge and the thought of working from home with the kids seemed impossible, and in fact it has been impossible. It’s probably been my biggest bug bear about this whole ghastly situation, along with coming to terms to being a full-time Mum for a while. There I said it, but honesty is what this blog is for. I guess for me adapting back into this role after working part-time at home was tricky, alongside not knowing how long this would go on for.

I’m freelance self-employed and unfortunately all of my social media client work has dried up due to Coronavirus and a lot of my blog work has suffered too, apart from the odd job here and there. Having said that things are now starting to pick up, my inbox is getting a little busier and hopefully my job as a social media manager will start to pick back up now that businesses are beginning to start to open up again. Shameless plug if you know any small businesses looking for support with their Instagram or/and Pinterest send them my way.

Week 9 of lockdown

But for me, the biggest upheaval was having the children every single day and actually missing work. I have a four year old and a one year old, they are both young, and about to turn five and two. I love them dearly, but my god the last 9 weeks have had their moments, and my youngest is crazy most of the time. My husband luckily remains in full-time employment in construction, so as a family with my work being basically zero meant that it made sense for me to look after the children in the day. I do juggle bits of work, mostly my own social media, and then pick up the more lengthy stuff when my husband finishes work for the day or at the weekend. It’s the way that we are making it work as a family.

What has been challenging are the constant demands from the kids, never a moment to myself, the struggle to home school a child in reception year who hates home schooling which has been virtually impossible with my youngest around, the constant thinking of things to do, cooking, cleaning, thinking about the next meal. It really has been relentless, and on top of that the hideous early morning starts almost every day. Most days Bertie is up between 5 and 5.30am, this morning it was 4.45am, which makes the day really long.

I would love to be able to have a nap whilst he naps, but I can’t because I’ve got Freya to try to home school and look after during this time. I would love to be able to pop out for a coffee with a friend, just to help break the day. I would love for us to visit family, or for family to come and visit us, just to take away some of the childcare strain. I know I might sound selfish for saying these things when there are people who haven’t got a garden, but like I said at the beginning of this blog post every single person is experiencing a different lockdown.

Week 9 of lockdown

Yet at the same time 9 weeks of lockdown has had its good moments, which are the important bits to focus on. That has been the friendship that has developed between Freya and Bertie. They only have each other at the moment, and I think they have learned that they need to get on. The switch I’ve noticed in Freya during the last week to actually want to read, it’s been such a battle to get to this stage. The fact that we’ve become a little more inventive with food, we have eaten well during this period, and I am still slightly baffled by people going crazy for loo roll and pasta in the beginning. Remember that time, seems like ages ago now.

To capture this lockdown I’ve shared a few pics to show the happy moments and the reality moments, trust me it hasn’t always been fun and games.

It’s been a journey. I really struggled with it at first, the adjustment was huge, but as time has gone on it has become far more manageable, expectations have been lowered and I can think a little more clearly. Although after a 4.45am start the foggy feeling doesn’t really clear until the end of the day. The kids have got more and more used to being at home, although Freya is hugely missing her friends, her school and I’ve recently started to notice a downward trend in her behaviour. I won’t discuss in detail the school situation here as it’s a huge debate at the moment, but mine will be going back when the schools re-open.

Week 9 of lockdown

I really hope that in the next few weeks things do start to change for the better; that we can start to see family and friends again, that shops starts to the open up, that the children do go back to school, and I can start to ramp up my work again and go out on the hustle. Who knows when the pubs and restaurants will re-open but that first pint or glass of wine in a pub will be amazing. There is so much to look forward to. Looking forward was one the things that I stopped doing at first as I couldn’t see an end to this crazy situation, and it all just felt too depressing. But bit by bit it does feel like we are coming back to life again.

Now I’m thinking about our holiday to Spain at the end of August? Will it happen? Won’t it happen? Probably not, but best t lower my expectations and possibly be surprised.

I already feel better just writing all this down. I’m not sure if this is helpful, I guess it helps just to hear how others are feeling about lockdown. As I said at the beginning, everyone’s lockdown is different, and completely depends on their situation and also how they feel about it too.

Claire x

 

 

 

1 Comment

  1. Sara May 21, 2020 / 12:23 pm

    Ah I enjoyed this lovely. Thanks for sharing. It’s good to get it down on paper isn’t it?
    And get you with a swipe up function, fancy!

    Sara (Portslade doer upper)

    Xxx

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