This week on my guest series – The Partner’s View I’m excited to introduce Lianne who blogs at Mrs Mummy Harris 86, and her partner Ashley. This story tells us how anxious we can be as parents-t0-be, worrying about how the baby will change the dynamic of your relationship. Not only this coupled with a difficult labour and a trip to NICU, can make for a difficult time. It’s lovely to read this positive story told by Lianne’s husband.
1. What were your thoughts and feelings leading up to the birth of your child?
Excitement, I was a bit nervous and worried I suppose. I was anxious as I wasn’t sure if we could afford a baby and all the products that you need to get for a child. I wasn’t sure if we would be good parents or if it was “us”. It had just been us two for so long that I was anxious that our dynamics would change and worried our fast lifestyle wouldn’t be able to slow down for the baby. However through all my worries, excitement shone through.
2. As a birth partner, how did you prepare for the birth?
We went to an antenatal class and spoke to my wife about what was going to happen. To be honest as a stereotypical bloke I winged it pretty much!
3. Tell us a little about your partners birth?
Ummm, it was very chaotic. Nothing went to plan and it was pretty terrible. Lianne had major issues with her back so everything she had put into her birth plan went out of the window. It made everything I had learned and been told redundant. She couldn’t sit, stand or sleep due to her constant back pain so it felt like my learning was all pointless.
The birth itself was borderline horrific and then it became frightening as when Ben was born he couldn’t breathe on his own therefore he was rushed to NICU.
4. What were you most afraid of during your partner’s birth?
Worst case? I was scared I’d lose them both. I wasn’t thinking this the whole time, but it was always at the back of my mind and when you haven’t slept for nearly 50 hours you do get pretty hysterical!
5. What was the best and most positive part of your partners birth?
Ahahahaaha none of it! In all seriousness, once we knew Ben was ok I could enjoy and relax a bit more. I’d probably say that seeing the epidural take effect was the most positive part of the whole labour as we had been through so much in 3 and a half days leading up to that, so to see Lianne in so much less pain was so relieving.
6. How did you support your partner and baby after the birth?
I tried to help as much as I could, but it was so hard as Ben was in NICU for a week and Lianne was in hospital for four days (even though she should have been in for longer). But once they were both home I tried to give as much support to her as possible and encouraged and praised how well she did during the birth and how well she was continuing to do.
7. What advice would you give to a birthing partner?
Run! No not really! Stay calm, don’t show any signs of panic regardless of what happens and try to be as supportive as possible. You’re going to feel helpless through the whole experience but try to encourage your partner and tell them how well they’re doing. Praising them might not help at the time but they’ll thank you for it later.
A bit about Lianne
Lianne is a new mum blogger aiming to show the truth behind the change from a newly-wed to a first time mum. Living in Essex, Lianne lives with her husband, Ashley, two cats (Leo and Harley) and son Benjamin. Lianne is currently on maternity leave, her blog is aiming to highlight the milestones, the sleepless nights and the ups and downs of everyday life for a new mum.
Thank you Lianne and Ashley for taking part in my guest series. If you would like to take part in my guest series, then just drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org