The Partner’s View – Over Heaven’s Hill

The Partner’s View – Over Heaven’s Hill

This week I’m excited to introduce Geraldine from Over Heaven’s Hill as part of my guest series – The Partner’s View. Geraldine’s partner talks about the birth of their child by emergency c-section following induction and excessive blood clotting.

It makes for quite a scary read, but in the end all was ok with Geraldine and baby A. The responses from Geraldine’s partner makes us realise that anything can happen in childbirth, so it’s best to be mentally and physically prepared for anything to happen.

What were your thoughts and feelings leading up to the birth of your child?

I’ll be honest, I couldn’t see past the pregnancy stage. We talked about the logistics of preparing for the baby so much. We had everything planned and bought and decorated. I didn’t really focus on becoming a Dad until I had a horrible dream a few nights before. I was dreaming about some sort of riot where three tall guys in black attacked me. One of them put me in a choke hold and as I tried to free myself I lunged forward and kneed one of them in the stomach. Suddenly in the dream it was daytime and I saw, my wife Geraldine hunched over holding her pregnant stomach in pain. I woke up in floods of tears and shaking. It was only after this dream that I started thinking about the emotional side of becoming a Dad. Ultimately, it was a slow process for me because I was so focused on how Geraldine was and that we were physically prepared for the new arrival.

As a birth partner, how did you prepare for the birth?
We didn’t prepare! Geraldine didn’t even prepare! I think we thought it would just happen. She was scheduled for an induction so it felt like we were on a program or schedule. Guilty truth – I had planned the night Geraldine went into hospital on getting a Chinese takeaway, making a cuppa and bringing them to bed playing my PlayStation as a kind of swansong to my soon to be old life. But when I got home (at midnight, Geraldine hadn’t progressed at all so I was sent home) that all went out the window because I was just worried about Geraldine and the baby.

Tell us a little about your partners birth?
It didn’t go to plan. Not that we had a plan. But we didn’t imagine it would end up being an Emergency Cesarean Section. After the induction process Geraldine wasn’t progressing and had been bleeding for about 12 hours. The moment her consultant came to examine  her we were told she was going for an emergency c section due to excessive clotting. It was quite frightening. From being told it was surgery to Geraldine being whisked away to me wearing scrubs and crocs with the name doug written on them, everything happened so fast. The c section was flawless and our beautiful daughter was born in minutes.

What were you most afraid of during your partner’s birth?

Nothing during it. We trusted the doctors, nurses and midwives (helped that Geraldine works in the hospital). It was immediately afterwards. There was Geraldine who started vomiting on the table and this beautiful baby who was effectively brought over to a hot plate. I didn’t know if there was anything wrong with either of them or how I could help. I was frightened something had gone wrong with the c section. And I didn’t know if the baby was ok because she was whisked away and surrounded by nurses and midwives and I couldn’t see her.

I wasn’t sure where to go or who to check on. Everyone had their jobs in the theatre and I was of low priority. I didnt know what to do, I felt like I couldn’t help anyone. Thankfully moments later everything was OK. Geraldine was just put on too high a dosage of some drug or another and after fingers and toes were counted we got to meet our daughter.

What was the best and most positive part of your partners birth?
From my point of view, I was actually relieved that Geraldine didn’t have to go through the pain of childbirth. We still don’t know how the clots appeared and what risks may have been involved if she delivered naturally. It was a relief to know that A was born healthy and quickly.

How did you support your partner and baby after the birth?
Geraldine needed a lot of support due to the pain levels and consequences of the c section. I was still working as she recovered in the hospital for five days. As soon as work finished for the day I hopped on the train to them and looked after the two of them the best I could. A was perfect and a beautifully placid baby. I had two weeks off when we brought A home. I did as much as I could with shopping, meals and caring for Geraldine and A.

What advice would you give to a birthing partner?
If you have the opportunity in the build up to the big day, make sure your calm, hydrated and at your optimum. You are needed but be a concierge from a five star hotel – be good but be invisible. It’s very overwhelming but it’s not about you. For one day just make sure everything you do is perfect for your partner.

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A little bit about Geraldine

“I am a soon to be 33 year old and am a mother of one quick and adorable toddler. I work as a Medical Librarian and I am a Writer and Crafter by nature, a Graphic Designer by chance, an all round SciFi nerd and lover of robots and Steampunk. But most of all I am a wife and a mother, and blissfully happy with my lot. I live in the Irish countryside in County Meath with my husband of 10 years, B, and our 2 year old daughter, A. Being a mother has changed me and my perspective on life. I’m becoming someone I didn’t know I could be and while I’m enjoying the journey, I’m slightly terrified too.”

You can find Geraldine on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, and her blog Over Heaven’s Hill.

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39 Comments

  1. Over Heaven's Hill July 7, 2016 / 12:58 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing our story with your readers 🙂

    • The Pramshed July 8, 2016 / 10:44 am

      My pleasure, and please thank your husband so much for taking the time to answer my questions, and share his experience x

  2. Pingback: When Baby was Born – an Emergency C Section Story – Over Heaven's Hill
  3. A Mum Track Mind (@amumtrackmind) July 8, 2016 / 1:20 pm

    It’s always so hard for the Dad’s when this kind of thing happens. They just get forgotten about unless there is a student nearby to reassure them or something. Glad to hear that it all worked out well in the end though! #fortheloveofBLOG x

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 7:06 am

      Thanks Fi! Yes it must be so hard for the Dad’s and it’s great to hear their point of view x

  4. themotherhub July 9, 2016 / 8:27 am

    Brilliant piece of advice – be good but invisible , absolutely perfect ! So glad all was well and you now have a happy little two year old ! #fortheloveofblog

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:22 pm

      I loved that last line, so true! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  5. alisonlonghurst July 9, 2016 / 8:50 am

    What a brilliant piece. It’s so interesting hearing the Dad’s perspective. I love the guilty secret and how scary when it all went differently. I know the feeling of having to go with the flow and let the medical professionals do their job. Good advice at the end too. Thank you for sharing. Alison x #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:19 pm

      Thanks lovely, it’s great to hear their views. And yes you do just need to go with the flow, things would have been so different had this had been 50 years ago. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  6. thefrenchiemummy July 9, 2016 / 9:12 am

    Really loved this serie. One day, I will convince Grumpy Boyfriend!!! Whe he has time Thank god, Both Baby and Mummy were fine but how scary… #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:17 pm

      Thanks lovely for reading and commenting, hope you manage to convince then boyfriend 🙂 x

      • thefrenchiemummy July 9, 2016 / 10:25 pm

        Actually I asked him today after I read the last post and he said no horrified… To be fair he is working late at the moment so I don’t feel like asking him another thing…But maybe one day?! I will let you know for sure if he changes his mind. Maybe I need to have a bet with him and if he loses, that will be his punishment?! Oh that sound like a great idea!!!

  7. beccatooth July 9, 2016 / 9:12 am

    It made me laugh when he said he planned a takeaway and PlayStation! Sounds like something my husband could get on board with! Thoae moments immediately after the birth sound scary. I am glad it all turned out OK. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:16 pm

      Me too! But I think that we are led to believe that there will be downtime, but in reality there isn’t. Thanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  8. powerporter July 9, 2016 / 10:14 am

    I always think it must be so tricky for husband’s and partners to sit on while the love of their life is going through such a dramatic event! Good on you dad for the support you gave! Thankfully a happy ending #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:12 pm

      Yes I agree it must be so hard and unknown! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  9. Barry July 9, 2016 / 12:15 pm

    Thank you for the chance to tell people the story from my perspective.
    The PlayStation thing might seem funny or selfish even but honesty is the best policy.
    Hopefully some people find my meanderings helpful I even in a small way.
    Thanks again

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:10 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to reflect on Geraldine’s birth experience, it can’t have been easy for you. I certainly wouldn’t call thinking you might have time to play on the PS selfish, as I think we are led to believe there will be lots of downtime – but as we know that isn’t the case, although it might be for some. I’m sure that many people will enjoy reading your post, judging by the comments they are and so pleased it all ended happily with a healthy wife and daughter, and a happy Daddy. Claire x

  10. blabbermama July 9, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    So great to see from the other perspective and the thoughts felt. Child birth is an emotional time for all involved. I’m so glad everything ended well 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:07 pm

      Same here, and thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  11. aliduke79hotmailcom July 9, 2016 / 1:23 pm

    It is such a scary, especially when things suddenly change and you do not know what is going on. I am glad after a scary start it went well for Geraldine x
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:06 pm

      Same here! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  12. Mrs Lighty July 9, 2016 / 3:57 pm

    Ah I love a birth story! This ones dramatic, isn’t it?! Glad all ended well though 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:05 pm

      Thanks lovely for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  13. thetaleofmummyhood July 9, 2016 / 7:57 pm

    Ah all’s well that ends well. It must be so awful when things don’t go to plan.

    #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:03 pm

      Thanks for reading lovely, so glad it turned it well for both Geraldine and her partner 🙂 x

  14. Mother of Teenagers July 9, 2016 / 10:26 pm

    This is a great reminder of just how important the role of the Dad is at the birth. My first didn’t go according to plan, but without the support of my husband it would have been ten times worse. Hope you are recovering well. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 9, 2016 / 10:28 pm

      Husbands and partners are amazing to give you another perspective, and to also act as your brain. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  15. Fern P - My Kiwi Family July 10, 2016 / 3:08 am

    That was an amazing story. I really love hearing about birth from the father’s perspective. The whole experience must have been frightening, but what a great result. Babies are definitely tiny miracles! #fortheloveofblog

    • The Pramshed July 10, 2016 / 7:51 pm

      Yep it’s really lovely reading it from the Dad’s perspective, as often it can be an isolating and lonely role. I’m glad that all ended well 🙂 x

  16. Emily Bresin July 10, 2016 / 1:40 pm

    This is great! I still have not written my daughter’s birth story (13 months later)! For me, at least, during childbirth, I could barely focus on anything except the task at hand. It would be wonderful to also record the partner’s perspective. Thanks for sharing.

    • The Pramshed July 10, 2016 / 7:42 pm

      Don’t worry about not writing it down lovely, thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

  17. letyourlightshinemummy July 11, 2016 / 7:30 pm

    Lovely to hear this perspective. Also the guilty truth about what he had planned. I’m sure a lot of guys would feel similar, and tbh who could blame them. Wonderful and Im glad it turned out well. x #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed July 11, 2016 / 10:18 pm

      I think that there’s a perception there’s a lot of downtime when it comes to labour. For some there might be, but for other’s there isn’t. It’s great that he’s being honest. Thanks for reading and commenting. Claire x

    • The Pramshed July 12, 2016 / 9:41 pm

      Thank you for linking to me site lovely, and for going self-hosted 🙂 x

  18. Rachel Bustin August 6, 2016 / 4:45 pm

    So glad all turned out well. Apart from the blood clotting this is a similar experience to my birth. I was 2 and half days being induced and still nothing resulting in an emergency c-section then I lost loads of blood. At the end of the day we are all here safe and well. That’s the main thing. Xx
    #triballove
    Rachel Bustin recently posted…New Mum Stories: Pondering ParenthoodMy Profile

    • The Pramshed August 8, 2016 / 10:16 pm

      Sounds exactly like my experience, crazy the amount of C-Sections that there are. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 x

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