Baby number 2 is on the way. In 12 or so weeks he will be here. At the moment I’m a mixture of excitement, nerves, dread, fear and happiness, which I think that any mum-to-be goes through. There is simply so much to think about, and having a toddler as well means that I’ve not had a lot of time to think about much. However when I do it hits me like a ton of bricks. I genuinely have a lot of worries about baby number two. I’m sure that he will just slot right into our lives, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying. So here are just some of the worries I have about having a second baby.
I had a really difficult first birth. A long 60-hour induction process that failed, and ended up being a semi-emergency c-section. 5 days in hospital later and then we were allowed to go home. I’m sure the same will not happen this time as I am not going to be induced, however it could end up being a c-section if I fail to go into spontaneous labour between 40 and 41 weeks. I shouldn’t use the word failure, as it’s not a failure, but that doesn’t stop my fear of being in hospital and having major surgery again. I am really hoping that I have made the right decision between VBAC or c-section.
Luckily I’ve managed to have a blissful year and half of sleep, as my daughter started sleeping through the night at 11 months old. Before that it was a world of hell. The 4 month sleep regression hit us really hard, and I certainly wasn’t expecting to be awake most of the night for months on end. This time round I’m hoping that we don’t have 15 wake ups a night, but if we do at least I know that it will end and we will survive.
My daughter lost over 10% of her birth weight at first (but she was a big baby). We then had problems with breastfeeding, but got there eventually. She then fed constantly for 6 months, all day and all night long. I lost count of all the series I watched on Netflix. This time round and because I also have a toddler to look after, we will be going for a combi-feeding approach, or at least having one bottle a day. There will be no ditching the bottle because breastfeeding is working, as he might never go back to it. Feeding does concern me, partly because so many people have an opinion about it. However as long as the baby is fed and I’m happy, then that is all that matters.
How my toddler will handle it
This is something that is increasingly weighing on my mind. My daughters knows that there is a baby, however I’m not sure she knows that the baby will be here to stay. I have no idea how she will react to having a baby brother. I hope that she loves it and is a really caring and kind big sister. However I have heard that they may hate you for a while, or be insanely jealous of the new arrival. Either way she will get used to it, and hopefully a present when her is brother is born will put a smile on her face for a while.
The feeling of complete overwhelm
Just with having a toddler on my hands I can feel completely overwhelmed. It’s not just looking a child, it’s running a business, sourcing work, managing a household, and the house renovations. I do worry about how I will fit it all in, and that coupled with sleepness nights really worries me. I’m sure that once we get used to being a family of four, our routine will begin to settle. But I know that something will have to give, and I won’t be able to give my all to everything.
Having a boy
This shouldn’t be a worry of mine, however it is slightly. To be honest I was expecting another girl, and we were quite surprised at our 20 week scan when we found out we were having a boy. My first thought was that I don’t know what to do with boys, and I haven’t got any boy clothing. However as time has ticked on and I edge closer to my due date, I’ve got more and more used to the idea of having a boy. It’ll be exciting to have one of each, and gives me the opportunity to go out and buy a raft of new baby clothes.
So those are my worries about having the second baby. We still have loads to do, not to mention setting up the nursery and getting all the items we need sorted for baby number two. But for now I’m going to relax, and once he is here I will take every day and every hour at a time. Yes, it will be hard, but I know that it will get easier.
What were your worries about having a second baby, and how did you resolve them to avoid becoming an anxious mess?