As I sat in a local playgroup yesterday morning I wondered whether I am a fun mum? Am I doing enough? Should I be doing more? I know that this sounds silly, but that very thought cropped up when all I wanted to do was sit back and relax with my cup of tea and let my children play around my feet. That’s what playgroups are for, right?
Instead I was left fighting this feeling that I should be getting involved in what my children were doing. I should be building huge tower blocks with them, or pretending to be a lion, or seeking out the doll for my daughter to push around in the pram, or reading a book with them. But quite simply I didn’t want to do all of this. Instead I just wanted to sit down, to have a chat with a normal adult, and not have to be at the beck and call of my children who have me in their grip 24/7 at home.
So does this mean I’m not a fun mum? I honestly felt so guilty for having these thoughts. But then I had a huge silent internal talk with myself. Claire you are a fun mum. You take your kids to places. You make them laugh. You make them smile. You give them that really deep belly laugh. Plus every now and again I get a kiss and thank you, so I must be doing something right.
Not only am I doing all of this. I also know how to fun outside of being a parent, so I guess that this does make me a fun mum. You could say that “Work hard, play hard and parent hard” is pretty much ingrained into me. A motto that I also stuck with me in my life before having kids.
But I do always worry that I am spending too much time tidying up, putting the washing away, emptying the dishwasher, checking my emails, responding to comments on social media, wishing I could sleep for longer. All of which do take away that element of fun, but without any of that the constant mess in the house would stress me out, and my working life could fall to pieces around me. I really can’t have it all, and I know that I can’t be having fun ALL THE TIME.
So I guess the point of this post is that I am a fun mum, but it is all about balance. Being a fun mum doesn’t mean having to play with my kids for every single minute of their waking day. I may not alway be the mum who is racing around the playground or desperate to play dress-up or Barbie’s with my daughter, but I do know how to have fun with my kids.
One thing I have learned from today is that if I see another mum over-egging the fun (in my opinion) with their kids it might be because they only have one day a week with them, or that is simply their personality. For me and for now I’m quite happy being the mum I am to my children, whether I’m fun or not.
How about you? Are you a fun mum? Or do you worry that you may not be fun enough?