Please stop Mum bashing us

Please stop Mum bashing us

Last week I stumbled across an article online published by OK magazine about the way that Binky Felstead (Made in Chelsea star) held her baby. Apparently she was holding her incorrectly. She’s a new Mum, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t holding her baby incorrectly at all. I hate to think about the worry that this might have added to already being a new Mum, and how she might have asked friends and family to check how she held her baby, and the level of self doubt and anxiety that this could have caused. People out there, please stop bashing us Mums.

It’s happening too often. It’s not just OK magazine, you only need to pick up a copy of the Daily Mail to see someone Mum bashing, slagging Mums off for no reason, just because they disagree with something. The problem with this is that so many other people then jump on the bandwagon and start a barrage of hate in the comments or on social media.

I’ve seen and heard about people bashing Mums who breastfeed in public, who choose to formula feed, who wean early, who put their baby in their own room before they are six months old. The list is endless, and it is frightening that everyone including people who are not parents (and dare I say parents too), like to give their tuppence worth and state their opinions.

It really needs to stop. I can speak first hand at how hard it is to be a new Mum, and just to be a Mum in general. We live in a world where our lives are portrayed on social media, where Google can scare the daylights out of us, and where we are constantly doubting ourselves and wondering if we are doing anything right.

Instead what we need is people to be supportive, to tell us that we are doing great no matter how we are feeding the baby, and to offer us positivity and advice rather than their negative opinions. After childbirth women are flooded with hormones making us feel emotionally, anxious and sometimes depressed, the last thing that we need is negativity and hate that could amplify those feelings.

So please people let’s all be a little more supportive of us Mum’s. If you see a Mum struggling to feed their baby, or who is drinking their third coffee that morning because they barely slept the night before, or even having a glass of wine in the afternoon whilst they breastfeed their baby. Don’t judge them, you have no idea what sort of day or night she has had. Please remember that could be you one day, on a day when you are needing a little bit of encouragement, support, and a hug (or wine).

Being a Mum is hard work, it’s not easy. All that matters is that you and your baby are happy and healthy, and no one has a right to judge or comment on that. So, Binky I hope you’ve taken that OK Magazine article with a pinch of salt, and swiftly brushed it off.

Rant over.

Claire x

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52 Comments

  1. Rhi August 14, 2017 / 10:33 am

    Here here! Agree with every word x

    • The Pramshed August 14, 2017 / 10:35 am

      Thanks! We all just need to be a little bit kinder to each other x

    • The Pramshed August 14, 2017 / 2:12 pm

      Thanks! Let’s all just be a little nicer to each other x

  2. Sally August 14, 2017 / 3:56 pm

    Ab.So.Lute.Ly!
    Here’s to the sisterhood- stronger united!

  3. Briony August 15, 2017 / 7:40 am

    Holding the baby wrong?! Honestly. Unless she was holding it upside down by one leg I’m pretty certain all was fine. I’m with you, why can’t people just be nice and supportive!

  4. Angela turner August 15, 2017 / 4:42 pm

    Fully agree with comments. It can be bewildering when you first become mum. Support is what is needed not criticism.

    • The Pramshed August 15, 2017 / 10:34 pm

      Completely agree, support is what we need. No one judging us, we all parent in different ways x

  5. Chloe August 16, 2017 / 8:21 am

    Hi, I agree with your points stop mum bashing instead supourt them if they need help and don’t be judgemental #fortheloveofBLOG
    Chloe recently posted…Review of co-op Green TeaMy Profile

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:25 pm

      So true, and so much more support and positivity is needed in this world x

  6. The Mummy Bubble August 16, 2017 / 9:06 am

    Totally agree with everything you have said here. I think it’s awful the way that mums get judged. Everyone is doing the best they can. You never know what else is going on behind closed doors. Mums might be getting one hour of sleep a night, they might be depressed, they might be going through a break up with their partner. If you don’t have anything constructive to say, don’t say anything at all. X #fortheloveofblog

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:24 pm

      Completely true you never know what that person might be going through, and comments like this can really compound on someone x x

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:23 pm

      It’s great to hear a male perspective and thank you for your support. It’s tough being a parent (male or female) and all that we are looking for is support and to be told that you’re doing ok x

  7. The Squirmy Popple August 16, 2017 / 12:17 pm

    I totally agree – it’s awful when people jump all over other mums rather than supporting them. Everyone’s journey is different and you have no idea what their story is or what they might be struggling with. #fortheloveofBLOG
    The Squirmy Popple recently posted…Flexi Mamas: Vicki from TippytuppsMy Profile

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:22 pm

      Completely agree we all learn as we go through motherhood, and we need comments telling us we’re doing something wrong. We will all find our way. Something’s work for some people that don’t work for others x

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:20 pm

      Absolutely, and spend there time focusing on something else x

  8. Louise August 16, 2017 / 3:22 pm

    I couldn’t agree more! It’s hard enough finding your way in the parenting world without having unrealistic or even completely false expectations to live up too! Great post! #fortheloveofblog

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:18 pm

      Totally true as a Mum we need to avoid any of these comments and find our own way. That could be by making mistakes but we all learn, and find what works and what doesn’t x x

  9. Kim Carberry August 16, 2017 / 7:38 pm

    Very well said! I agree….People need to stop worrying about what other people are doing or not doing and concentrate on their own lives… #fortheloveofBLOG
    Kim Carberry recently posted…An anniversary. 8 Years Ago. #CHDMy Profile

  10. Hayley@ Mission: Mindfulness August 16, 2017 / 9:33 pm

    Really good point – all this judgemental stuff has to stop. So much better to have more kindness in the world. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:17 pm

      Yes Hayley! We just need a lot more kindness and support in this crazy world we live in x

  11. Sarah August 16, 2017 / 10:08 pm

    Totally and completely agree! Mum bashing is SO common, and his has to stop. Mums are judged so much and they don’t deserve it!

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:16 pm

      It really has to stop, unfortunately I don’t think it ever will, there will always be people who wants to pick out a slight fault and make a massive hoo hah out of it. Even though it’s not a fault at all x

  12. Mackenzie Glanville August 17, 2017 / 1:51 am

    What is it with people! Are mums so insecure that they need to put other mums down to make themselves feel better? I was criticised so much by my sister in law who had a baby 6 months older than my eldest. She attacked me all the time over my choices whilst I said nothing to her. Apparently I was holding her too much, I wasn’t be tough enough on her, I wasn’t feeding correctly, and she even then told me how ridiculous I was because I fed my daughter organic food when I was weaning her. OK she may not have agreed and may have done things differently but this was my child not hers. I even got told I should pierce her ears at 6 months, I waited until she was 10, my sister in law was not happy. When I was anew mum I was scared, and overwhelmed and completely vulnerable, I know I am not the only new mum who has felt that way, so why do people feel it is OK to make you feel even worse. #fortheloveofBLOG
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…checking in with yourselfMy Profile

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:05 pm

      Oh lovely I’m so sorry to read this, it’s so tough being a parent and the last think you need is people criticising or shoving their opinion on you. Family members can make it seem worse as you then feel like you have to do what they say. Instead we would just rather a cup of tea and a hug xx

  13. Alana - Burnished Chaos August 17, 2017 / 7:51 am

    Couldn’t agree more. I can’t stand the way the media likes to jump on every little detail and turn it into something bad. New mum’s especially have enough to deal with and need to feel confident and supported not out down and ridiculed x
    #fortheloveofBLOG
    Alana – Burnished Chaos recently posted…#funseekingkids Week 20 Round-UpMy Profile

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:03 pm

      Completely agree, and I think that the media has a lot to answer for here. If it wasn’t for the ease in which people can comment, I’m sure that there would be a lot less negativity x

  14. Ali Duke August 17, 2017 / 12:25 pm

    I completely agree with you. There is so much pressure on mum’s, especially new mum’s anyway, why would you add to that?
    #fortheloveofBLOG
    Ali Duke recently posted…Is It Time To Relax A Little?My Profile

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 11:02 pm

      Exactly, why would anyone add to that. Mums should be left alone to get on with it, we’ll soon learn if we’re doing something wrong x

  15. Nicola August 17, 2017 / 10:49 pm

    I quite agree! The problem lies in the fact that unlike anything else, so many women are Mums and have experience in the field. All those people feel that they have knowledge and information to impart and many feel that they know best and the way they have done it is the right way and so feel qualified to comment on other people who are doing the same job, but differently. At the end of the day we all do things our own way and if that works for us then it is the right way! #fortheloveofblog

    • The Pramshed August 17, 2017 / 10:59 pm

      I agree with that and everyone has their own opinion, and want to say something. Only everyone parent’s differently and that should be respected x

  16. Aleena Brown August 18, 2017 / 1:45 pm

    Well said! Unless she was dangling a newborn by its feet over the precipice of the Grand Canyon I’d bet she was just hilding her baby how her baby likes to be held! My youngest liked to be held on my forearm on her tummy! #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed August 18, 2017 / 1:47 pm

      Completely agree with you, and we all do parenting in different ways, it’s no ones right to comment about it x

  17. Heather Burnett August 18, 2017 / 3:36 pm

    Agreed! Can we be supportive of one another for a change? There is just too much negativity!!! I think breastfeeding is a perfectly natural (and beautiful) thing!!! Ugh!!!

    #fortheloveofBlog
    Heather Burnett recently posted…Does Rodan + Fields Work Better Than Botox?My Profile

  18. Carrie Ford-Coates August 18, 2017 / 5:01 pm

    Well said! Everyone’s situation is different. I have even had to stop and check my self. Remember that not everyone has the same path or situation or child. So much better to be kind and compassionate. #fortheloveofBLOG

  19. Mrs Mummy Harris August 20, 2017 / 5:30 pm

    The latest one appears to be Amy Childs as she dared ask what her followers reckoned to her potentially feeding her four month old baby rice! According to the comments I dared read, mothers do not know best and listen to the NHS.. Funny as I remember the time when the NHS recommended drinking Guiness for iron! #fortheloveofBLOG

  20. Adrian August 20, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    Sadly mum bashing seems to be yet another form of the nastiness that is pervading society, especially online, where people think they can be twice as nasty because they’re behind a screen. I agree with you and all i have to add is that if everyone’s default was to be supportive and respectful to other people, whether they have children or not, and whatever their age, race, gender, sexuality etc the world would be in a much better place right now.
    Adrian recently posted…Would You Leave Your Child Home Alone?My Profile

  21. Maria Hughes August 21, 2017 / 2:59 pm

    Totally agree. It’s about time people stopped being so opionated on other people’s parenting strategies; we are all different, our babies are all different and therefore we Parent differently – it’s definitely about time we just accept that and move on without this constant mum shaming #ForTheLoveOfBlog x

  22. Susie at This is me now August 22, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    Totally agree! I’m constantly amazed at how many people seem to have opinions on other people, especially people they don’t even know! #FortheloveofBLOG

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