I take my hat off to you stay at home mum
I’ve seen all sides of being a Mum; juggling children, family life and work. Since having my daughter I’ve worked full-time, I’ve worked part-time, I’ve been a stay at home Mum (SAHM) and now I’m a part time work at home Mum and SAHM. I’ve definitely found my happy although it has taken me a long time to get here and to reach that conclusion.
I’m fully aware that it’s not always possible to return to work after having children, or you may not want to for whatever reason. It doesn’t matter. And, there is nothing wrong with that at all, in fact I take my hat off to those Mums who are 100% SAHM.
You are literally a saint dealing with crying, whinging, feeding, and nap time problems. However on the flip side you get to see every precious milestone that your child hits. You are also their number one carer, and the one that they rely on and look up to. You’re the one who is responsible for games, arts and crafts, and ultimately the one who sees the smile on their faces during the day.
However I know just how hard it is, how you long for a break, how you would maybe love to put your child into nursery or to go to a childminders just for one day a week so you could get some of “you” back. I sometimes see the jealously in your eyes when other parents talk about their child going to nursery tomorrow. But you know that you wouldn’t have it any other way, being a SAHM Mum is your ultimate responsibility, it might not last forever, but right now you’re happy with that decision. So I salute you for that
Being a 100% SAHM is not something that I could do, I think it would drive me insane in the long term. Do not hate me for saying that. However I was a SAHM for a short period of time in between quitting my career in advertising and taking this blogging career seriously. So I have done it, felt it, and know the love you have for your child, but also the feeling of being driven crazy and that you are losing your mind. That’s not to say I don’t love my daughter, or wish to spend to time with her. However I feel that to reach my potential I need to be doing something other than just being a Mum.
So for any SAHM’s out there reading this, I salute you, I take my hat off to you. You are doing an incredible job, in fact probably one of the hardest jobs in the entire world. You are raising a human being. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel that you could do better, because bringing up a child is damn hard work. It’s exhausting. It’s overwhelming. It’s emotionally draining. Yet it’s also wonderful and rewarding at the same time, and you know that you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Keep you head held high SAHMs.
Claire x
33 Comments
Kelly
I completely agree with you – I just couldn’t do it myself either. Although it hurts me to be broken in two so often at work and at home… I’d love to work from home one day but I don’t think I have the ability to fully shift to freelance without having more time off work to do it if that makes sense? Anyway, great post xx
Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies
I wish there were blogs when I was a stay at home mum. I felt so guilty about the overwhelm – I didn’t even know other mums might feel the same. I wouldn’t have made any other decision and regret nothing but it would have eased me to know it’s all, well… normal. xn
Mama Mia
Couldn’t agree with you more. Hats off and glasses raised to SAHMs. Work is the only thing that keeps me sane! #fortheloveofblog
Cheshire SEN Tutor
Interesting read, I like that you’re getting the message across of not judging each other for the choices we make re work/staying at home. #fortheloveofblog
Noleen Miller
I think those who are stay at home mom have the hardest job out there. The worst is, the role they play are often taken for granted. I salute those moms who give up so much to be there for their little ones. As a full time working mom, balancing work and family life is difficult and there are times when I wish I could be a stay at home mom (especially when my kids were smaller). #fortheloveofBLOG
Elaine @ Entertaining Elliot
It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had – it doesn’t pay very well, you rarely get any thanks and your co-workers just leave mess everywhere! I’m mostly a SAHM but my parents have the baby on Fridays so I can catch up with a bit of work from home. Its tough, I do try and get work done on the other days but my little girl is 11 months old and is into everything! I actually work for my husband and I do admin for his business so I’m fortunate that I didn’t have to go back to work full time anywhere so I do count myself very lucky! #fortheloveofBLOG
Ali Duke
I went back to work after having my son, but stayed at home after having my daughter. I felt like I missed so much with my son. Whether I could do it again that’s a dfferent question lol.
#fortheloveofBLOG
Jenny Curtis
When it comes to parenting, everyone finds their happy doing different things. I found the right balance working part-time and sharing childcare with my partner the rest of the week. For us, this gives us the chance to earn money as well as spending loads of time with our daughter. #fortheloveofBLOG
The Squirmy Popple
I couldn’t be a SAHM, so I have so much respect for those who manage it. Like you, it would drive me nuts. It really is challenging to keep a small person happy and entertained for an entire day! #fortheloveofBLOG
Helen aka Welsh Mum Writing
Completely agree! I’m at home two days a week with Small Boy and come to the office the other three for a rest! It’s non stop. I love it though. I have a couple of stay at home mum friends and every day their scheduled is rammed and they don’t get anytime for themselves. #fortheloveofblog
Mum OverRun. Sarah Aslett
Honestly I’m so mixed about all this at the moment. I’m currently on maternity leave with my second and the first is at school during the day. The thing is I don’t want to miss anything when I have to go back to work but I also just want to go back to work for a rest lol #fortheloveofBLOG
Sara @ Magical Mama Blog
This is so true! I couldn’t agree with you more. There are so many pros and cons when it comes to the decision to work or stay home. Wish there was a happy medium for us all!
#ForTheLoveOfBlog
Fancy
I love the piece as it is honest and empathetic. Well done! #fortheloveBLOG
Amy - The Rolling Baby
I completely agree with you, it’s tough but it’s worth it. #FortheloveofBLOG
Grainne Kelly
I totally agree with this sentiment. SAHM do what I would find impossible. More power to them!
Kelly | and Jacob makes three
I think working part time is the perfect balance for me. Sometimes I think I’d love to be a SAHM but the reality is that it would drive me crazy. I take my hat off to those that can do it too #fortheloveofblog
Fiona Cambouropoulos
I have 6 and I must say I did nursery with mine and was glad of the chance to work in the day, I’m with you, I’d have struggled with the 24/7 for any amount of time. #BloggerClubUK
The Rhyming Mum
I really struggle being at home 24/7 and I couldn’t wait to go back to work from maternity leave… something I was made to feel terrible about at the time(but that’s another story). But, being back at work I often wish I was at home too. So I see it from both sides. All mums should be applauded, stay at home or working – they both come with their struggles. Now I work part-time I think I have the best of both worlds although even then sometimes the balance is wrong! #fortheloveofblog
The Mummy Bubble
Totally agree with you on this, it is extremely draining doing it 24/7 with zero breaks and no prospect of a break. Plus you face judgement for not going back to work. It’s a tough and thankless gig. X #fortheloveofBLOG
Jemma @ Popcorn for Lunch
Love this as I can identify with it 100%. Like you I’ve worked full time, part time, been a SAHM and now have found a nice balance being able to do some work from home. I would definitely be putting myself into therapy at this stage if I wasn’t able to dabble in my writing work alongside the mum thing. I’m with you on applauding the mums who are 100% SAHM. Really loved this Claire xx #fortheloveofblog
Catherine
Completely agree! I love the time I have with Amelia and count myself lucky that I can work part time and have those extra days with me. I also need that time which is for me and I think she does too. I love the balance we have and take my hat off to anybody who is at home all the time. #fortheloveofBLOG
ruth cartwright
I’ve also been them all and I’ve found every one of them hard in their own ways #fortheloveofBLOG
Country Mumma
Absolutely agree! SAHM’s are saints. I love my sproglets but I’m a better Mum when I have some ‘me’ time x
Tom
I agree, as much as I love my daughter I’m not sure I could do it. My wife is amazing for being able to deal with all the stress of all day every day parenting. I full on respect any full time stay at home parent!
Heather Keet
My mom said she worked so that she would like us 😉 I got what she meant when I worked in daycare, kids are a lot! #fortheloveofBLOG
Nicola wiggins
I’m not sure I could do it forever. I liked it when I did but part time working suits me much better. I need to have that time away. Sounds awful but it makes me a better mum on the days I’m there #fortheloveofblog
Karen, the next best thing to mummy
When I was a registered child minder, a parent commented that I may think her a bad mother because she had decided to go back to work, I said that if everyone stayed at home, I would be out of work
Sarah
This is the post I needed to read today! My blog is mainly just a hobby that if something comes of it, it does and if it doesn’t, well it doesn’t. Some times I hate when people ask me what I do. I kinda mumble my response. I don’t think I will ever go back to my previous job and I would be heartbroken if I had to but some days when I’m wiping snotty noses or cleaning dirty bums I dream of days to myself. Toilet breaks, Lunch hours and adult conversation. I’m not sure there are any of us who have an easy time of it. This Mothering thing is hard work no matter how many hours a day you spend with the Littles. #fortheloveofBLOG
Nicola - Clarke Life
I don’t think there’s a perfect scenario for anyone…we all just end up doing whatever we have to do! I always wanted to be a SAHM but didn’t have the option and I have been aiming for that ever since! My son is now 13 and the best I have got to is working 2 days a week and one from home.
Nicola - Clarke Life
#fortheloveofblog
mainy
I agree with the whole theme here and really do take my hat off to anyone who gets through every day with the kids. Love my kids beyond words but I would of found it very difficult to have them totally by myself every day before they were of school age. Now it would be easier if I wasn’t working because they are at school. However, we are resilient folk and whatever life has thrown at me I’ve managed to deal with. Being a single parent with a job and two boisterous boys wasn’t exactly a stroll in the park but we got through it:)
Mainy
#fortheloveofBLOG
Helena
I am a sahm with an escapism into blogging. This is a lovely pep talk. #fortheloveofBLOG
Tim
The dedication and effort required to be a SAHM (or a SAHD) is so vastly underrated by many – especially by non-parents. I know it’s something I could never do! #fortheloveofBLOG