Does guilt free parenting exist?
As parent’s it’s natural to feel guilty about many things. The list is endless. It could be returning to work after maternity leave, putting your child into nursery, not returning to work, not spending enough time with your children, checking Twitter when you should be playing with your child, and blogging. The list goes on and on. Whatever choices we make there will always be something that makes us feel guilty.
Just because we have a child or children, doesn’t stop us from being the person we were before they entered the world. We have to let that person out every now and again to save our sanity and remember who we once were.
I’ve been through the days of sleepless nights. Worrying if my daughter is eating the right food, or eating enough food. Or why has she only drunk milk for the last 3 days. So now is the time I feel that I deserve some guilt free time. So that’s why I’ve decided to embrace guilt free parenting today, and tomorrow as I have holiday from work and my daughter is going to nursery.
I might look back on these two days and wish that I had spent that time with my daughter, instead of her being looked after by the nursery staff. However every once in a while I need a little bit of “me” time, and there is nothing wrong with that.
So how have I spent my “me” time today?
I have whiled away nearly 4 hours getting my hair done without worrying about how my husband is coping at home with my daughter, as I would normally have my hair highlighted at the weekend. And tomorrow I will be going shopping and hoping to enjoy a nice baby free lunch.
Some may disagree and feel that these are precious moments I should be spending with her. However her nursery is already paid for, she enjoys going, seeing her friends and climbing on the climbing frame. Sometimes I think that she prefers being at nursery than being at home. She probably has a lot more fun there and learns a lot more.
There is so much pressure on us today as parents. No matter how we choose to live our lives with our children, the guilt will always remain, and that level of guilt will vary from person to person. I’m going to enjoy the next few days guilt free, and then enjoy a fantastic weekend with my daughter. Then next week we will resume guilty parenting when I return to work, and I take my daughter to nursery.
The guilt I feel has certainly eased over the last couple of months as I have got used to be being back at work, and my daughter has got used to being in nursery. However I think it will always be something that hangs around at my side and will always exist.
Do you feel guilty as a parent, and how do you cope with it?
Claire x
This post was first published for Meet Other Mums in November 2016
4 Comments
Catherine
Thank you so much for this post!!! These are my thoughts exactly!! I have a few days annual leave left to take in a few weeks time and I asked myself and others if I should take my little girl out I the childminder on these days. I had to tell myself we are paying for it anyway and she loves it! Just like you, I am sure she loves it more there anyway! Haha!
It is so important to have that me time but yes the guilt does creep up every now and then and we are left thinking is what we are doing the right thing. I have got better on this over the last few months and know that time away from me is also helping her develop more and become more independent.
Such a brilliant post!! Xx
The Pramshed
Thank you Catherine for your kind comment. It’s really important to have that “me” time every now and again, with both us and our children benefiting. Enjoy your time off in a few week’s time, and treat yourself x
Aleena
Amelia was in nursery 3 days a week before I fell pregnant with Wills, and when my maternity leave started we decided to keep up with Amelia’s 3 days. Even though I am at home, for us it made perfect sense to keep Amelia in nursery; she learns a lot there, has loads of fun, eats well, and loves spending time with her friends. It also means that I have had time with Wills to bond with him, to have time to recover and regroup, and yes I have had a little break. What’s more is that when I return to work next month, Amelia (and Wills) will be in nursery 3 days a week anyway, so really it made no sense to take her out only to have to put her back in again. Lots of people questioned why we would keep her in nursery when it was eating up all of my maternity pay and I was at home, but I don’t feel guilty at all.
The Pramshed
Thanks hun, I completely agree with you, and I would do exactly the same. Nursery is so beneficial for children. Our daughter loves it, she’s so happy there x