Wow I can’t believe that I am into the final week of the summer holidays and it’s back to school or starting school for us. The final week and the final few days before my daughter starts school and my son starts nursery are here. I couldn’t have timed it any more perfectly with them both starting in the same week. Am I crazy? Bertie’s time in nursery could have been brought forward or delayed so that the timings didn’t coincide with Freya starting school, but to be honest I am ready for it. And they both are too!
The past seven weeks since my daughter finished nursery feels like they have flown by, yet in the same breath I find myself wishing away the days to when I can at last have some time. Time for me. Time for headspace. Time to breathe. Time to work. Time to actually put my brain in gear and deliver meaningful work for my clients. Time to hustle. Time to finish the house. Time to clean the house. The list goes on and on. I know that for two days a week where I have no children to worry about for 6 hours I will relish that time. No matter how I choose to spend it, I will enjoy it and make the most of it. After all it has been a long time coming.
I didn’t take maternity leave when Bertie was born 15 months ago, instead I choose to carry on working and juggling my freelance career as best as I could. It hasn’t always been easy, it has had it’s ups and downs most certainly when Bertie arrived as life was thrown into turmoil, but more recently August. August for me being a work at home parent was such a challenge. I no longer had the nap times three times a week to get work done as I had Freya to look after. Plus in the evenings all I wanted to do was collapse into a heap after having the children all day.
What I’m trying to say is that for anyone who has survived the juggle of children and working this summer holiday, well done! I know hand on heart that it is not easy, and this time has given me a taste for the years ahead where I will definitely need to have some sort of additional childcare in place for Freya.
Finally to add to this to make you see that I’m not an awful parent for wishing this time away, I will miss my little sidekicks when they are school and nursery next week, and I will probably be wondering what on earth to do with myself when I can finally roam my house without “MUM” being thrown at me every five seconds.
But what I do know and what I should be celebrating is that I’ve done the juggle for 15 months without really having a break from two children, barely getting a full nights sleep and still managing to keep a million plates spinning, even though I dropped a fairly big ball today. But now it is time for me.
So for any parents out there who are also feeling the same, who may not be feeling all the emotions about their children starting school, or are just longing for a break, it’s ok. Please enjoy your time and don’t feel guilty about it. After all your happiness brings their happiness.