The Partner’s View – Mum and Mor

The Partner’s View – Mum and Mor

I’m excited to introduce Sarah from Mum & Mor as part of my new guest series The Partner’s View. Sarah’s partner explains how our birth choices are taken out of our hands, so it’s best to be prepared for everything, but at the end of the birth you have beautiful baby.

What were your thoughts and feelings leading up to the birth of your child? Nervous, but not due to the birth or child. I was excited to meet our little one.

As a birth partner, how did you prepare for the birth?
Preparations were made almost like a battle plan, just to be ruined by outside choices we couldn’t control. Sarah had gestational diabetes and hypertension. So as a birth partner, my preparations were more in the books of, “be ready for anything, and be timed for nothing”.

Tell us a little about your partners birth?
The actual birth was quite smooth and fast, 14 minutes of pushing and our daughter joined the world with no problems. Sadly, the hospital procedures didn’t go as they should have, but we made the best of it. The drip wasn’t fitted properly first time, then the epidural failed to work. It was a tiresome event.

What were you most afraid of during your partner’s birth?
Being useless, being unable to do anything. It was a problem for me through that time, not being able to do much other than stand around and cheer. I was given the job to test Sarah’s blood, but it wasn’t for long anyway.

What was the best and most positive part of your partners birth?

The smooth birth of our child. The little thing just screamed out once, then had the most curious gaze as we held her. It doesn’t get better.

How did you support your partner and baby after the birth?
We were stuck at the hospital 4 days after, so all I could do was help smoothen our stay. It was tough as we tried breastfeeding first, without luck. I gave emotional support at the gallons, though! I prepared formula for the baby and ordered takeaway now and then due to the bad hospital food.

What advice would you give to a birthing partner?
Fatherhood 101; Don’t prepare too much for one plan, there is a great chance it’ll be changed again and again. Be flexible about events, be ready to grab what is needed, and support the expectant mother’s wishes.

A little bit about Sarah

“I’m Sarah, a British expat that moved to Denmark in May 2015 to be with my Danish boyfriend I met online. I’m currently a stay at home mother to my baby daughter and I enjoy blogging, playing video games, crafting and spending time with family.”

You can find Sarah on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and StumbleUpon, and on her website.

If you would like to join my guest series, please drop me an email at thepramshedblog@gmail.com, I would love to read and publish your stories.

Claire x

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47 Comments

  1. A mum track mind June 17, 2016 / 6:52 pm

    I bet that lots of partners worry about feeling useless. I have been a birth partner for my best friend and even though I am a trained midwife, I felt completely useless myself so I can really empathise with the Dads! This is such a fab idea for a series Claire – well done! #fortheloveofBLOG

  2. Sarah - Mum & Mor June 17, 2016 / 7:23 pm

    Thank you for featuring us! I’m happy to get the mister involved in any blogging stuff. 🙂 #TribalLove

  3. bridiebythesea June 17, 2016 / 7:59 pm

    This is a brilliant series – I really think this is something no-one really talks about…a brilliant read and so pleased Sarah had a smooth birth! Can’t wait to read more in the series #triballove

  4. Nursery Whines June 18, 2016 / 8:13 am

    This is a really good series. It is really interesting to see birth through the partner’s eyes. Glad it all went smoothly and it is so true about birth plans – best to plan not to have too much of a plan. #fortheloveofBLOG

  5. anywaytostayathome June 18, 2016 / 8:18 am

    I love this series, partners get a bit forgotten but they are so important, they are your voice when you are a bit too busy and a bit too exposed to maybe say everything that needs saying. Brilliant. #fortheloveofBLOG

  6. blabbermama June 18, 2016 / 8:23 am

    Interesting to view from the birth partner’s perspective as I bet it must be hard to know what to do when things don’t go to plan. Great to get to know Sarah more. Love to catch up on her blog #fortheloveofBLOG

  7. Charlotte June 18, 2016 / 8:32 am

    It’s nice to hear the other side, totally agree with not planning for one situation, births never go to plan, I planned a home birth with first had a hospital birth, a hospital birth with second had a home birth, and dint plan at all with third and had a premature birth. #fortheloveofblog

  8. wendy June 18, 2016 / 8:45 am

    Oh this is a great post, will have to go read the rest in the series. It is nice to see a birth story from a partners perspective and I agree you’ve got to be prepared for anything! My midwife barely glanced at my birth plan haha x #fortheloveofBLOG

  9. peppermint cove blog Lou June 18, 2016 / 8:54 am

    The feeling of powerlessness of the partner must be almost universal- i liked the takeaway comment! Very important all the same. Also the value of not planning too much. Thanks for this post.

  10. Kate Orson June 18, 2016 / 9:12 am

    this is so interesting to read from the partner’s point of view. I always feel that birth was harder for my husband than me! He had to stay up for nearly 23 hours and support me! #fortheloveofBLOG

  11. Over Heaven's Hill June 18, 2016 / 9:26 am

    It’s quite refreshing actually to hear the other side of the story. It’s an anxious time for anybody involved and it’s right not to forgot the birth partner! Great read, thanks so much for posting #fortheloveofBLOG

  12. justsayingmum June 18, 2016 / 9:35 am

    such a great series, Claire! And Sarah this line “The actual birth was quite smooth and fast, 14 minutes of pushing and our daughter joined the world with no problems” – wow! Lovely to hear your partner’s view – he sounds so supportive – a real keeper! #fortheloveofBLOG

  13. Baby Anon June 18, 2016 / 9:42 am

    What a great idea for a series. It’s always nice to hear the other side and it sounds as if he was a great support. Good advice about being prepared for change. Father was halfway through a sandwich when I decided to put in my appearance; he didn’t know whether he had time to finish his food first or help Mother (Father’s a big fan of eating) x #fortheloveofBLOG

  14. powerporter June 18, 2016 / 10:26 am

    It’s so nice to hear what’s the dads think isn’t it? It can’t be easy for them having to sit and watch on while we slog through the art of giving birth. As a control freak I’m not sure I could do it haha!! #fortheloveofBLOG

  15. Ellen June 18, 2016 / 10:45 am

    Love this idea for a series! It must be so difficult to feel like there’s not much you can do but never underestimate how important that support is to a pregnant woman or woman in labour. knowing that things won’t go to plan and that things change constantly is a great attitude and definitely necessary! #fortheloveofBLOG

  16. Kelly Edwards June 18, 2016 / 11:03 am

    My OH felt a bit useless while I was in labour… I think it’s definitely a shared concern. I fainted afterwards too, so he had to push the button to get the drs in (nothing dramatic I was just a bit too hot) #triballove

  17. Nadia - ScandiMummy June 18, 2016 / 11:08 am

    Great series, Claire. And lovely to learn a little more about Sarah and her family. #fortheloveofBLOG

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

  18. laughing mum June 18, 2016 / 11:19 am

    its always interesting to hear the partners point of view and their experience. It’s alway ‘mum’ this and ‘mum’ that so its easy for them to get a little ‘lost’ in the process. I think all partners feel a little redundant don’t they? #fortheloveofblog

  19. Lauren June 18, 2016 / 12:00 pm

    This guest post seroes is great – partners always get overlooked and it’s lovely to hear their side of things. I know my partner felt useless and is not keen on needles so had to keep leaving the room. #fortheloveofBlog

  20. Sarah@TeamMomLife June 18, 2016 / 1:34 pm

    This becoming such a great series! Was happy to learn more about Sarah and her partner. Always nice to hear that people have such supportive partners in such a difficult time. Thank you all for sharing! #TribalLove

  21. occupation:(m)other June 18, 2016 / 1:56 pm

    Oh such good advice about things changing…and this shows such lovely support for Sarah. A really lovely read, thank you Claire and Sarah and Sarah’s partner! X #fortheloveofBLOG

  22. thetaleofmummyhood June 18, 2016 / 2:11 pm

    I can’t imagine what being a birthing partner must be like. Wanting to help so much but not being able to do anything must feel awful. Emotional support helps tonnes though!

    #fortheloveofBLOG

  23. Emma Plus Three June 18, 2016 / 4:08 pm

    This a great idea for a series. Brilliant post x ##fortheloveofBLOG

  24. themotherhub June 18, 2016 / 5:21 pm

    Always interesting to hear the other side – not sure I ever even asked my own husband what he was thinking so self obsessed was I ! #fortheloveofblog

  25. Jane Taylor June 18, 2016 / 7:13 pm

    A great idea for a series. Giving the partner’s view is such a refreshing angle. Thanks for sharing. #FortheloveofBlog

  26. aliduke79hotmailcom June 18, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    I cannot imaging how stresses some dads might be, especially if your birth plan does change like this.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  27. Mouse, Moo and Me Too June 18, 2016 / 8:06 pm

    It’s so common for partners to feel like they’re useless and a spare part My husband said the same at both births but my second was a VBAC and he was invaluable. Really interesting perspective. #fortheloveofBLOG

  28. ljdove23 June 18, 2016 / 8:18 pm

    Oh I really enjoyed reading this, great idea for a series and it’s interesting to read how partners feel about the birth. My husband was SO nervous but when it came down to it he was amazing! #fortheloveofBLOG

  29. lambandbear June 18, 2016 / 8:54 pm

    What a fab series and great to hear from the partners point of view. Especially about birth! x #fortheloveofBLOG

  30. mindfulmummy June 18, 2016 / 9:35 pm

    A really good idea for a series and totally agree that birth plans have to be flexible! Love the new logo by the way. #fortheloveofBLOG x

  31. Lydia C. Lee June 19, 2016 / 2:02 am

    Nice! The partner often is forgotten in all of this – yet they’re just as much a part of it all #Fortheloveofblog

  32. Double the Monkey Business June 19, 2016 / 7:56 am

    Nice guest series! I know my hubby felt pretty helpless as well, not easy for them to sit and watch us go through everything and they don’t get much support really as everything is focused on the mum. xxx #fortheloveofBLOG

  33. motherhermit25 June 19, 2016 / 11:22 am

    What a brilliant series Claire, it’s nice to hear things from the partner’s perspective, I imagine they all feel pretty helpless during that time. Think i’ll get my partner to answer these questions! xx #fortheloveofBLOG

  34. Complyorcry June 19, 2016 / 8:12 pm

    I love hearing about how all the partners feel! Great read!!! Xx

  35. rightroyalmother June 19, 2016 / 8:26 pm

    Great idea for a series. I am sure dads – and other mums – will love reading this too. Congratulations on your daughter’s birth! #fortheloveofBLOG

  36. Mother of Teenagers June 19, 2016 / 10:43 pm

    14 minutes is nothing short of a miracle. The role of the partner is so important and often overlooked. #fortheloveofBLOG

  37. jeremy@thirstydaddy June 20, 2016 / 1:12 am

    This is a great idea. Anything that helps to highlight the contributions of the male half of the equation is something that I can get behind! #fortheloveofBlog

  38. babybykaybee June 20, 2016 / 3:51 pm

    i love hearing birth stories from people on the other side! they always have such a good view of things. As a mom i remember that day clearly, but ive always wondered what it was like being the supporter or a family member in the waiting room. great post 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

  39. letyourlightshinemummy June 20, 2016 / 7:37 pm

    Really lovely to hear the Dad’s side. Great advice too on being flexible. Lots of wisdom in that. xxx #fortheloveofBLOG

    • The Pramshed June 23, 2016 / 10:42 pm

      I agree that with birth you never know what’s going to happen, and flexibility is key x

    • The Pramshed June 23, 2016 / 10:41 pm

      I agree with that, just having them by your side makes such a difference x

  40. Busy Working Mummy June 21, 2016 / 8:06 pm

    This is such a good series! My hubby feared being useless, and of course he was. He couldn’t do anything to help, but the fact he was there through it all meant the most #fortheloveofblog

    • The Pramshed June 23, 2016 / 10:41 pm

      Thanks lovely, it’s so important that they are involved and feel involved x

  41. theparentingjungle June 25, 2016 / 7:44 am

    Ah this is a lovely series idea, I find it really heart-warming to hear daddy’s feelings…I always hear dads feel useless too. My sons dad waited 32 hours which I can remember only in a haze but that must of felt soo long to him..definitely agree with have a loose birth plan but be prepared for it all to go out the window and take it as it comes…get ready for your hands to be squeezed! #fortheloveofblog

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